The cramps… Oh God… THE CRAMPS!

For a good 10 minutes last night my ever-patient husband was forced to massage my hip joint, all the while I cried out in pain and tried to do that breathing thing pregnant women do in the movies.

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My right leg had developed such an intense cramp that all I could do was writher in pain on the bed while moaning, “fuck, fuck, fuck”.

Apparently leg cramps are, you know, TOTALLY FRIGGIN’ NORMAL… it’s just that no one had bothered to tell me that.