Cutting ties with negative people…

There are bad people in this world.

Bad, bad, bad people.

I’m not just talking about the serial killers and the rapists and the pedophiles – I’m talking about the people who are emotionally destructive – those whose source of evil is so elusive it remains undiagnosed. You know the kind: “There’s just something about Mary I can’t put my finger on but I don’t like her“.

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There’s probably a good reason you don’t like her. Mary is, very likely, a cunt. But, like all manipulators and sociopaths, Mary is a crafty puppeteer who plays others with such skill that the majority of her victims go to the grave without ever seeing their strings pulled this way and that.

I’ve had my fair share of dealing with bad people, mean people, and cruel people who delight in destruction.

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Every time I think of people like that I’m reminded of this passage:

“They were careless people, Tom and Daisy- they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald, ‘The Great Gatsby’

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Gosh, I’ve even tried to avoid those bad seeds and still they find a way to slither into your life and ‘smash’ things up again.

As hard as it can be, there is a strength in identifying these people – sometimes they’re your friends, sometimes your workmates, sometimes your family. The realisation can hurt (hurt like hell, in fact) but there is a deep power in cutting ties.

YOU are now the one in charge.

YOU are now the one who decides what you will tolerate.

YOU control the strings.

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Doing that will piss off the bad people something wicked, trust me. People who don’t want the best for you don’t want you to grow – be it spiritually, emotionally or mentally – because if YOU change then their controlling tactics will also need to change. It’s inconvenient  for them.

But you know what? That’s a good gauge to determine who to keep in your life and who to flick. Real friends, loving friends, kind friends (or family) will understand your changes. They will embrace your growth and even applaud you for it: “I’m proud of you. It’s good to see you standing up for yourself”. Those who don’t? Kick ’em to the kerb.