I will never get over the fact that my grandmother died before meeting my child

I didn’t want to write about this for a long while because I simply wasn’t ready to. I still don’t think I’m ready to write about it. I still think I am struggling to process a lot of grief and anger. But I think there’s an element about my grandmother’s passing that I’m ready to…

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Why mothers need to stop apologising for needing some ‘me time’

It’s one of the most-oft recited lines in every new mother’s repertoire: I never get anymore me time.  Heck, I know if I don’t expressly say it I’m at least thinking it around 5000,0000 times a day. When mums talk me time they’re not talking about anything spectacular (although an all-expenses paid trip to Paris would be…

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Stop asking me when we’re having another child…

Let me preface this post by emphatically stressing that I love, love, LOVE my daughter. I love her. I love everything about her. I worship her. She is my reason for living. But fuck me, being a first time parent is hard. Like, really hard. I’ve worked in live TV news and let me tell…

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Did feminism suck all the fun out of motherhood?

I have always considered myself a feminist. Sure, I might not ‘look’ like one (whatever that means, but I’ve been told it before), but I am. Heck, let’s be honest here: every woman is a feminist even if they don’t realise it, because feminism in its basic, basal terms is just about women demanding equality…

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Why does my husband find parenting so easy?

A few months after giving birth I asked my husband how he thought I was doing at this whole motherhood thing. “I always knew you’d be a good mother. You’re good at everything you do, you’re such a perfectionist”. He complimented me. He comforted me. He stroked my ego. But (me being me) I didn’t…

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Why working mother guilt may not be such a bad thing after all…

The guilt, my god the guilt. The confidence and conviction exhibited in first-time mothers about how they will cope/react/adjust when their baby arrives can only be compared to that of a 16-year-old teenager and their approach to, well, just about everything. They pretty much know it all, okay? They’ve read the books. They’ve watched the…

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The Yellow Wallpaper

Prompted by the recommendation of a friend of mine I re-read The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. I first read the short story while studying feminist literature at university. In a TLDR snapshot, the story was written in 1892 and is a first person account by a new mother detailing her own what would now…

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A very bad week…

I haven’t had a chance to write anything for a while now primarily because I’ve been so fucking tired. And, also, because there’s no time to do anything other than baby stuff. I’m not complaining about that believe me. I’m just saying; the idea of being able to do things that are not baby related…

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A few things I wish I knew before giving birth…

There’s a plethora of information out there about what to expect when you have a baby; the pain, the stress, the hospital etc. In fact, there’s many anecdotes about those specific elements,  you can almost feel like you’ve “been there, done that” before you even give birth. Hold up just a minute, because there are quite…

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Accepting my pregnant body after battling an eating disorder…

I was terrified of gaining weight during my pregnancy. I wrote about my fears here. For a long time, as long as I can possibly remember, I was my body’s worst enemy. I hated the way I looked – the soft folds of my tummy, my thick thighs and my jiggly arms. I itched to…

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